Sunday, January 23, 2011

Jack LaLanne Truisms

Published: Personally 2011-01-23

Even while dead - Jack LaLanne can still kick the tar out of Chuck Norris.
No disrespect to Mr. Norris.

LaLanne is the one who taught Chuck Norris how to count to infintiy.
LaLanne did it backwards too!
(BTW, if Infinity tried to count towards Jack - he would say enough and it would stop.)

Chuck Norris may have been able to chew nails.
Jack LaLanne could digest them.

Chuck Norris would bend people into Pretzels.
Jack LaLAnne could straighten them out.
Jack LaLanne gave Chuck Norris one of his outgrown jock straps.
Chuck is still trying to fill it.

King Kong thanks Jack LaLanne.
Kong was a 99 pound chimp when he started.

Superman was faster than a speeding bullet; but not by much.

Jack LaLanne was the guy who threw it.

no - duh
Jack LaLanne taught Superman how to be more powerful than a locomotive.

Jack LaLanne used to joke with Superman by picking up the tall buildings as Superman was leaping them.
Face splat - 86th floor.
Really funny

Last one -

The sun learned how to shine brighter because Jack LaLanne showed it how.

RIP. Big Guy!

You earned it.

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