He comes on at 10 pm with the rolled shoulders ready to pounce on a guy who is already down.
The impassioned pleas and how pure the Progressive Movement is and how he’s just sorry about Weiner’s issue.
Here is the link on the whiney rant: (http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21134540/vp/30012522#43334201)
I could only watch for a couple of minutes before thinking:
“Who does this guy think he is?”
“Didn’t he just get off a suspension for what, again?”
I flipped around and fell asleep.
I was in a dream on a football field where I had a whistle around my neck and a blue baseball cap.
I watched a scrawny running back hit the line, stumble and fumble the ball. (That’s not good I thought, it’s a boneheaded move that happens in the game, but I could live with that.)
Then I saw one of the overweight offensive linemen with rolled shoulders pick up the live ball and hand it to the red team.
The stunned defensive back looked at the lineman with the expression of “Sure, I’ll take that…” and started running the other way. To make matters worse – the lineman jumped on the scrawny running back so he couldn’t get up to at least catch the new ballcarrier.
I used to coach all sorts of sports, but after the red team’s touchdown I lost it on the offensive lineman. I was never this out of control as I grabbed the offensive lineman’s facemask so that I could make sure I could see what wheels aren’t spinning in his head.
“What the #$%$ are you doing?”
“He couldn’t keep his act together – he sucks as a running back.”
“Why did you give the red team the ball?”
“Because I know we’re better than them. We have to put a better team out there.”
“Why did you jump on the running back?”
“So he won’t be able to get back in the game.”
“OK Genius, now that you took your teammate down – who’s running that ball now?”
“Ok Champ - you want to say you play for the Progressive Team – here is your job – you only have to do one thing.
Block for your teammates. You are not fast enough to run the ball. Given your responses here, I wonder why you even signed up to play. We have enough problems with the red team, the blue team doesn’t need you ripping on them from their own side of the field.
Politics is the only team sport that means anything.
When your man goes down you help him up.
If he drops the ball you pick it up and give it to him.
You do not bad mouth your own guys.
So let me ask you, how do you think your teammates see you?”
“I’m Big ED – they should be happy they ‘Got ED’”
At that I awoke to a commercial about a prescription to cure a condition called E-D.